It's a Girl Thing

7 Ways to be a Godly Girlfriend

Good morning everyone! 

I asked my blogging friend, Kara, to write today’s (and next week’s!) post for us, and I’m so excited for you to see what she has to say. Let’s jump in!I’m new to this whole dating thing.

My boyfriend, Caleb, and I have only been dating a mere five months. Before that, I had always been single. So, when he and I started going out, I wondered how I could be a good girlfriend. After all, I had zero experience in that area.

So, I did two things:

1) I looked in the Bible for girlfriend advice

2) I looked on Pinterest for girlfriend advice 😛

Confession: At first I was able to find a whole lot more of girlfriend advice on Pinterest than I could in the Bible.

There isn’t exactly a “Dating Chapter” in the Bible. There isn’t a section saying “Thou shalt do ABC on a date and thou shalt not do XYZ.” In fact, the word “dating” isn’t mentioned in the Bible at all.

Great. How then will I know how to be a godly girlfriend? I wondered.

One day, a month or so after Caleb and I started dating, the Holy Spirit brought a Bible passage to my mind that I had memorized when I was 12.

I slowly began to quote it to myself, and I realized that here is the passage I’d been looking for! Here is a passage about how to date in a godly way!

 “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8a, NIV).

Sure, this passage isn’t limited to merely dating relationships. It can be a plumb line for a mother-daughter relationship, a friendship, a boss-employ relationship. But I think it also can and should relate to dating as well.

So if you’ve been wondering what Christian dating should look like or how you can be a godly girlfriend, here’s a great guide!

Believe me, I don’t have this girlfriend thing figured out and I need Biblical advice as much as the next girl. So, I want to walk through this passage with you, with the hopes that we can both learn something from it 🙂

Let’s dive right in…

Here are 7 ways to be a godly girlfriend:

1) Be patient.

With him and with yourself.

2) Be kind.

Treat him with respect. Be kind.

3) Don’t envy.

Don’t envy other people’s relationships if they’re “farther along” than you and your boyfriend. Additionally, don’t envy when your boyfriend spends time with his other friends.

4) Don’t boast.

Don’t brag about your relationship, rubbing it in other people’s faces. Be gracious. Yes, it’s okay to feel excited about dating and want to post a picture on Instagram every now and then, but don’t be boastful about it. Watch your attitude 🙂

5) Don’t be proud.

Seek humility.

“But he gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says: ‘God opposes the proud  but shows favor to the humble'” (James 4:6, NIV).

 6) Don’t dishonor him.

As in, don’t say negative things about your boyfriend. If he makes you mad, pray about it instead of venting to your best friend about it. Paint him in a good light, whenever you can. This can be so hard to do, but think about it.

If you’re mad at your boyfriend and then vent to a friend about it, you could get your friend mad at him too (especially if she’s a good friend and has your best interests at heart). But, whenever you move on and forgive your boyfriend and he and you work out whatever issue was going on, your friend won’t be a part of that conversation. So, she may stay bitter towards him about something that you and he resolved!

Thus, I think it is wise to share positive things with our friends. (Don’t go over the top though, see #4.)

It is important to ask for wisdom. If you’re sharing a negative situation with someone with the intention to learn how to fix it, that’s different. But if you’re just annoyed and venting, that won’t help anybody.

Turn to God in those situations and vent to Him 🙂

7) Don’t be self-seeking.

Put his needs before your own. Figure out his love-language. How can you best show him you care?

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Meet Kara…

19025097_1894642857472382_2040887185016343074_o.jpgHey y’all! I’m a 21 year old college senior studying Spanish education. I had been single my whole life before my boyfriend Caleb asked me out. So, I know the struggles and up and downs of singleness and strive to encourage other singles to be content in Jesus during this season on my blog, Joy Because Grace.

When I’m not blogging, I enjoy watching Disney movies, reading the Harry Potter books, and babysitting.

More than anything, I love Jesus and strive to grow closer to Him. I can’t wait to see how He continues to work in my life. 🙂

Let’s be friends! You can find me at joybecausegrace.com as well as on Facebook and Instagram.

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I apologize if we left you hanging 😉 BUT you can hop on here next week to see the second part of this post! I hope this little sequal helps you in your dating or courting relationship, or, if you’re single, helps you prepare for a relationship in the future.

Share your thoughts!

Did you gain some fresh perspective from today’s post? What are some other ways you can be a godly girlfriend?  Leave a comment to let me know! I love hearing from you (and I know Kara does too!). ❤

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It's a Girl Thing

Tips and Reminders for the Single Christian Girl

Hi friends!

I’m excited for you to read today’s post because my sweet sisters-in-law helped me put it together. Their perspective as married women was so helpful, and I hope you’ll reap something special from this post! I did the writing, but they were the brains behind a lot of these points. 😉

I’ve been wanting to address these things for a while, but I never got around to it until now—Mostly because I felt no one would accept what I was saying. And, honestly, when I was first given some of this advice, I got pretty feisty. But I’ve come to embrace these truths, and wow–I wish I’d done that sooner. So, while these tips may be uncomfortable to read, I hope you’ll hear me out.

Let’s jump in…

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Tip: Re-evaluate “the list”

We all know “the list”– those qualities you scribbled down on notebook paper under the words “Mr. Right” (or something to that effect 😉 ). And, while it’s important to know basic characteristics we want in a husband, we can’t let the list consume us. Here are a few reasons why…

  • When we get too focused the “Mr. Right” list, we end up setting impossible (and unfair) standards for the one we want to marry. And, chances are, that detailed list will make it close to impossible to get a husband.
  • When we create a checklist for our future husbands to match, it’s easy to look at every guy as a potential spouse and measure him against the list–as if we’re taking inventory.  Sweet friend, your future husband is not a checklist, and no guy should have to be evaluated against your idea of a perfect man. Enjoy the company of other guys without worrying about whether or not he matches a list. If one of the guys you befriend or date is the one, God will make it clear–not any list. 🙂
  • It’s easy to let the list become self-centered. You know–physical qualities, talents, or personality traits you want, and have made a priority, when they’re really not important? If you have a list, make sure carnal qualities are at the bottom…or not present at all.

Ditch the mile-long list and re-establish what truly matters. Our goal should be to date–and eventually marry–A Christ-follower. A man committed to growing in the Lord, and who loves Him with all His heart. This is all we truly need. When his heart (and yours!) is in the right place, everything else will work together perfectly.

“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2, ESV).

Reminder: You’re not perfect, and your future husband won’t be either 

Lately, as I’ve scrolled through my Pinterest feed and read blog posts on preparing for marriage, I’ve noticed a disturbing pattern–the idea that every Christian girl is a lovely princess who deserves nothing less than the best prince who ever walked the earth. We’re subtly being told that we’re perfect, and the guy we marry must meet up to our standards.

Friend, the bare truth is that none of us are worthy of any good thing. Everything we have has been given to us by a gracious Father…And the same goes for the men we marry. None of us deserve a godly man, but, if God chooses to bless each of us with one, it would be out of Sovereignty alone. Not because we deserve it.

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change” (James 1:17, ESV).

It’s easy to get carried away in this “perfection” mindset and expect young men to have the maturity of grown, experienced Christian men…when, truly, we would never dream of setting such a high bar for ourselves.

Please don’t get me wrong: We need to wait for a Christ-loving man and it’s okay to have high hopes for our future husbands–As long as we set equally high standards for ourselves. Remember that he’s growing, and he’ll continue to grow, just like you. 

What standards have you set for your future husband? Have you gotten caught in the “princess” mindset? I know I’ve done it before. Let’s take a step back and ask ourselves some questions…

  • “Am I looking for “flawless” or am I looking for “growing”?”
  • Do I need to readjust my expectations?”
  • “Am I growing?” 

“But grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ” (2 Peter 3:18, ESV).

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Reminder: Life doesn’t begin with marriage 

Yeah…Mind blown.

Friend, singleness isn’t a waste. It’s not a season of hunting for a spouse so life can begin. Singleness a delicate, special gift from God, given to us to serve Him. You don’t have to be married to have a full and happy life. Abundant life comes when we pursue God, and marriage is just one of those blessings He gives many of us along the way. I love the advice Paul gives in 1 Corinthians 7:27, and while it’s directed toward men, we can definitely apply it here!

“Are you pledged to a woman [man]? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife [husband]” (1 Corinthians 7:27, NIV). 

Embrace this season of opportunities to serve God. He created singleness for a purpose. Don’t waste it by longing for the future. 

The last point is the sweetest, most important advice I could offer you…

Tip: Focus on your relationship with Christ

Single or not, your relationship with Jesus is the most important thing in the world. If you’re not running hard after Him now, it’ll be twice as hard to pursue Him when you have a guy in your life. Getting married won’t automatically make everything fall into place. It won’t complete you, and you won’t suddenly become a better person–A more godly woman. We have to prioritize our relationship with Jesus until our hearts beat the same rhythm as His. Until He is our One and only Love. When He is the center of our lives, everything else will work in perfect order.

Sweet friend, if you’re not content without a boyfriend or husband, chances are you won’t be content with one. Being close to Jesus is the key to contentment, and when we learn to be completely satisfied in Him, we’ll be able to enjoy life in any season—single or married.

So, in this season of singleness, let’s faithfully run the race before us. And, as my sister-in-law put it: “One day you’ll look over and see someone running beside you, and you’ll decide to run the race together.” ♥️

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:1-2, ESV).

In summary…

Your future husband isn’t a list, and he will never be perfect. Singleness isn’t a race to find a husband, but a race to draw closer Christ and serve Him while you have the time and freedom. It’s a season to learn about Jesus, about yourself, and to become everything He wants you to be.

I’d love to hear from you!

What are your thoughts on these reminders? Did I leave anything out?

I know these topics are a little tricky, and I don’t have all the solutions to being happily single…or all the advice to perfectly prepare for marriage. But I hope what I’m saying makes sense, and that this post helped you in some way…if only to encourage you to keep running and embrace this beautiful season of your life: with your eyes fixed on Jesus. ❤

Dig Deeper: 

Read more about singleness and marriage by digging into these rich passages!

–> 1 Corinthians 7:32-35

–> 1 Corinthians 7:7-9

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It's a Girl Thing

Favorite Blogs and Pinterest Accounts

Hi friends! It’s been a while since I came on the blog, and I’m so sorry! My Spring schedule has been jam-packed, but things should be easing up soon 🙂 Can you believe it’s already June?? Goodness.

Anyways, I have a special post planned for next week, but I thought I’d pop on here today to say hi and write a quick post to hold you over 🙂

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If you know me, you know that I love Pinterest, and I love reading blogs. Especially ones with substance. I read a blog post just about every morning during my personal devotions, and Pinterest is my go-to for about 274903 other things 😉

So today, I want to share my favorite blogs and Pinterest accounts with you! These particular ones always boost my mood and infuse inspiration into my day.

Note: My advertising each of these blogs and accounts doesn’t necessarily mean I agree with everything they say or pin. You can decide which ones you like and don’t like 🙂

Let’s jump in…

Blogs

1) Alison Tiemeyer blog 

I absolutely love Alison’s blog. While she’s a young married woman who writes content for wives, her blog is packed with a variety of other topics.

Alison’s tone is sweet, straight-forward, and genuine, and her posts always encourage my heart. If you’re looking for a good resource to help you grow spiritually, embrace God’s grace, or even write a blog, Alison’s blog is the way to go. Her posts range from prayer and Scripture memorization tips, to vulnerable talks about day-to-day struggles–and how to overcome them. Her latest posts are geared towards bloggers, which is also fantastic…Oh, and her themes and graphics are stunning 🙂

I have no doubt you’ll find a post or two on her blog that you love!

2) Joy Because Grace

I won’t say too much here because I have special things planned with this girl come summer time 😉

Needless to say, you should go check out Kara’s blog 😉 Her posts range from singleness, relationships and preparing for marriage, to spiritual growth and living gospel-minded. She’s fun, transparent, and conversational in her writing, which is always great!

3) Abby Dearest Blog

I just discovered this sweet little space, and I love it. Abigail Rose writes heartfelt, thought-provoking content, and her humility and love for Jesus shine through her writing. I highly recommend checking out this blog 🙂

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Pinterest Accounts 

There’s not much I can say about these, except that I’m sure you’ll find a pinner or two from this list that you love! I always enjoy looking through their content for helpful tips and good vibes 😉

That’s about it!

I hope you’ll check out some of these blogs and Pinterest accounts when you find the time. If you liked this post and want to see more practical ideas like this, leave a comment to let me know! I read several other blogs besides these, so I could write another post about those 🙂  It always makes my day to hear from you.

Also, if you’d like to follow my own Pinterest account, you can do so here! I love interacting with my readers through direct messaging 🙂

Have a fabulous night,

the other side (11)

 

 

 

 

 

It's a Girl Thing

How to Refresh Your Life

Spring time always makes me giddy. Budding flowers, bees, endless sunshine and blue skies…it’s like a season of constant happiness. With all the change this season offers, I’m inspired to weed out the dead stuff in my life to let new things grow (excuse the pun).

If you’re like me, your new year goals are fading, and you’re stuck in the same grind. Every. Single. Day. You’ve lost sight of the exciting changes you planned for the new year, and your days just melt together with little inspiration. At the start of 2017, I was pouncing all over my goals and had my life securely intact! That lasted until… oh, maybe February 😉 But lately, I’ve fallen into a rut–physically and spiritually. And it’s no fun. So, today I want to share some ways I’ve come up with to hit the restart button in your life. Let’s uproot the old stuff and start over together. 🙂

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First, here are ways to refresh your day-to-day routine:

Continue reading “How to Refresh Your Life”