With Valentine’s Day freshly behind us, I thought this post would be perfect for today. My sweet friend, Allison from All Things Allison Marie, was kind enough to write it, and I hope her wisdom encourages you. 🙂
I think that every girl on the planet has had a crush. And I think pretty much every one of those girls has had a crush on a guy that they knew wasn’t the best guy, or later found out something that wasn’t good about them.
And that’s hard. Really hard. Emotions are some of the most confusing things ever.
So what do you do when a guy that you like isn’t good for you? Or maybe you think he is perfect for you, but God has clearly shown you he is not “The One”?
Because I’ve totally been through the same thing, I wanted to give you six helpful tips for getting over him. I am not promising all of the feelings and hurt will go away, but I know that if you do these six things, you will be handling the situation in a much more God-honoring way. Let’s get started!
1) Don’t dream about the guy
For me, I think this is one of the hardest things to do when I know a guy isn’t good for me. I truly want to dream about what it would be like if we did begin a relationship. I want to dream about the future we could have together.
But that can be so unhealthy. I recently wrote a post on how to guard your heart, and in it I talk about how dreaming about guys can be so detrimental. You are turning to something other than God to fill the hole in your heart. I encourage you to seek Him instead of dreams could-have-beens!
2) Make a list of qualities you know your future husband should have
This can be so helpful in figuring out why the guy you like isn’t good for you, but also give you an idea of what your future husband should be like. He won’t be perfect, but there are some non-negotiable qualities.
Not sure what to add? Look to the Bible. The fruits of the Spirit are amazing qualities, and there are so many other passages you can look to for guidance! Also, looking up “Christian future husband list” on Pinterest can bring up some good ideas.
3) Listen to encouraging music
I don’t know about you, but listening to love songs doesn’t make me want to make good choices when it comes to guys. It just makes me want to get in a relationship ASAP. And that’s not the best thing to do 😉
Listening to Christian music can help keep you focused on Jesus and the pure life you are wanting to live! I know Abigail has a list of amazing Christian artists on her freebies page, and also has a blog post on 22 of her favorite songs from 2017. You should check those out!
4) Find something you are passionate about
This one can be fun! Find something that you truly love to do, or something God has called you to do, and go at it full speed ahead. It helps keep your mind off of the guy, and it also honors God. It takes the focus off of your life, and onto something else.
Blogging is what I’m passionate about!
5) Pray for your future husband
This tip is one of my favorites! Praying for my future husband makes it easier for me to wait, for some reason. I think it gives me hope that there still might be a guy out there for me. One that will love, cherish, and pursue me, but also love Jesus above all else. I think it also helps to encourage me to wait for him.
So what should you pray for? Pray through the list of qualities you wrote down for him, pray for his safety, current life and struggles, school, work, and his relationship with God. Pray for y’all’s future together and whatever else comes to mind!
6) Have accountability
Having somebody to talk to about your relationship struggles can be very helpful! They can give you advice, wisdom, and also remind you why you decided not to pursue a relationship with a certain guy (I think we tend to forget whenever he gives us attention ;)). I truly encourage you to find somebody, whether it be your mom, youth leader, aunt, pastor’s wife, etc.
I hope that those tips truly helped you! I want to leave you all with a closing thought…
I’m sure some of you are wondering if the guy you like is good for you. You may have overlooked some of his qualities because you truly want him to be “The One”. But here’s a question I want you to ask yourself:
Could you serve God better together or apart?
Because this life is all about serving God. It’s not about us. If you honestly can’t answer this question, maybe prayerfully pursuing a relationship to find out is the best option. But if you know in your heart the answer is “apart”, I hope these tips with be of great help and encouragement to you!
With all my love,
Head over to Allison’s beautiful blog to get to know her a little better! You won’t want to miss out on her posts. ❤