Hey friend. 🙂 I’m so glad you’re here. Pull up a chair and grab a coffee, because I’m gonna get really real with you today.
I’d like to think of myself as a pretty confident person. I love life, love what I do, and I can usually let insults roll off my back.
But over the past few months, my life has changed a lot, and it’s still changing. Friendships I thought would work one way swerved in the opposite direction. Circumstances I thought were certain crumbled into a mess of uncertain days. People dear to me have changed, and situations haven’t gone the way I planned them in my head.
All those things have joined together in an effort to scare me and to be honest, I’ve let insecurity creep in way too many times. I’ve played the comparison game to the point that I question the beauty of my life and the characteristics God has given me. And it’s not fun.
I’m not saying this to draw attention to myself, and I don’t want you to think I’m over here throwing a pity party, because God has been teaching me wonderful things through this season. But I wanted to share that piece of my heart with you to show you that I struggle. Insecurity isn’t glued to me, but I wrestle it sometimes. And that’s a normal human problem. But y’know what? It’s not okay.
Lately as I’ve scrolled Instagram profiles, blogs, and watched YouTube videos for Christian girls, I’ve noticed a common theme, and it’s this: Confidence talks.
We all struggle with similar insecurities, so we’re trying to help each other with confidence and self-love messages. We spend our time reminding each other of our value, and that’s not a bad thing. I think the communities of Christian young women on social media is beautiful, and there are so many sweet souls there! But, in the abundance of encouragement, we’ve failed to do the most important thing…
We aren’t addressing the root of our insecurity.
Loving ourselves and simply trying to be confident isn’t gonna cut it. If it did, we wouldn’t keep lapsing into self-doubt and demotion.
We tell each other to be confident, but we don’t try to figure out why we’re insecure.We tell each other to do what we love no matter what, but we don’t even address what makes us scared to do that. We tell each other to run after Jesus, but we don’t stop to figure out what’s been holding us back.
…And it’s worry.
Friend, I don’t want to downplay your story or the pain you may be experiencing, because I don’t know your situation. I’m not here to accuse you of dealing with insecurity all wrong. But as I’ve sorted through my own weaknesses and dug around my own insecure heart, I realized all my unrest boils down to worry. And I truly believe that’s the problem for all of us.
I know that doesn’t help you. I know those words aren’t comforting. But bear with me for a second.
We worry about appearance, talents, if people like us, why we struggle with certain disabilities, why our home-life is the way it is, why we aren’t like the popular girl at school…instead of focusing on Jesus. We worry what guys are looking for in a girl, instead of pursuing what God wants from us. We worry about our circumstances instead of embracing God’s higher plans. We beat ourselves up and run from grace because we feel unforgivable, instead of claiming our redeemed identity in Christ. We worry about how many followers we have on social media, instead of worrying about the One we should be following.
“For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ” (Galatians 1:10, ESV).
Worry has always been a human weakness, but now with social media and an abundance of cliques, worry has only intensified. Those things bombard us with things to compare ourselves to, and 21st-century life leaves us with a million things to be anxious about.
Jesus told us not to be anxious. About ANYTHING. Friend, He wasn’t teasing when He promised peace and fullness of life in HIMSELF.
“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, NLT).
When we choose worry over trust, we’re not only disobeying Him, but we’re telling Him that we don’t think He’s trustworthy. We’re telling Him that it’s impossible to not worry…And that’s pride.
I honestly believe pride is the root of every sin (Proverbs 11:2) —especially worry—and it’s crushing us.
Pride tells us to be confident because we’re beautiful. It tells us to be confident because we’re talented. It tells us to be confident because we have followers or got the boy we wanted. But the minute one of those things disappears…the moment we look in the mirror and don’t like what we see…that pride is crushed, and our confidence flies out the window.
Pride keeps us from claiming our identity in Christ. It holds us back from asking Him for help. Pride tells us to trust in ourselves, and leaves us in broken pieces when we realize we can’t hold it all together.
“Thus says the Lord: “Let not the wise man boast in his wisdom, let not the mighty man boast in his might, let not the rich man boast in his riches, but let him who boasts boast in this, that he understands and knows me, that I am the Lord who practices steadfast love, justice, and righteousness in the earth. For in these things I delight, declares the Lord” (Jeremiah 9:23-24, ESV).
Here’s the bottom line…
We get encouragement one day but fall back into anxiety the next because we don’t stand up to our worry and say “Get out.” We feel confident one day and hide in the closet the next because we don’t grab pride by the throat and say “My confidence is in Christ. Not in my abilities. Not in my beauty, which is fleeting (Proverbs 31:30).”
We’re broken and unsure because we don’t stand up tothe enemy and tell him to leave us alone.
Please don’t get me wrong—I’m not underestimating the power of uplifting words or doubting the value of believers speaking truth to one another…But here’s the deal:
We can get all the encouragement we can find in moments of pain and anxiety, but friend, encouragement won’t clench it. We have to face our giants head-on and command our enemy to flee. We have to uproot the things that cause us to lapse into these cycles of insecurity. We have to surrender our weaknesses to Jesus so He can take over and lead us in His life and His encouragement, because that is the only thing that will last.
If we want to send insecurity to its grave, we have to cling to the person of Christ. If we want to be confident, we have to be humble. If we want to be free, we have to stop worrying.
Philippians 4:6-7 tells us to crush worry with prayer. God gives us permission to bug Him, and He never tires of us bringing our burdens to Him.
Those fleeting, earthly things that stir worry in your heart? That make you insecure? They don’t matter. They’re not your identity. Jesus, the King of heaven and lover of your soul, is. Run to Him.
“The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance [to the full, till it overflows]” (John 10:10, AMP).
It’s hard. Facing the root of our problems is scary. But friend, it’s so worth it. Embrace the Christ-centered communities that speak life to you, and cherish their love. But don’t neglect to pray. Don’t forget to seize worry by the shirt collar and remind it that it has no hold on you.
No matter what life throws at us…
We don’t have to muddle through life as feeble, timid girls. We have an eternal Anchor to hang our confidence on, and His grace gives us boldness to run as free women!
Will you stomp on worry with me?
More posts to help you:
- The Secret to Being Confident
- 6 Different Journals I Keep and Why
- What Does the Bible Say About Self-Love?