Hi friend! I’m glad you could make it.
Got your frappuccino? Iced tea?
We can sit over there—by the window overlooking Main Street. Nothin’ like a cold drink and this pretty view for a heart-to-heart.
All settled? Good.
Let’s talk 🙂
I’m just gonna be honest with you and blurt this: Purity is my biggest struggle.
It’s not easy to cultivate innocent thoughts or avert my eyes when the world constantly slams sex and profanity in my face. It’s a constant battle for me to chase Jesus when the enemy, who knows my weaknesses, fights daily to throw me off course.
Get my drift?
Our culture’s defiance of God and morality makes it painfully difficult to flee lust and impurity. It’s no wonder Paul said it’s better to marry than to burn with passion.
But we can’t all get married—like, now. We haven’t all met the one. Yet we’re still tempted. We still experience burning desires, and we are still responsible to practice patience.
So how can we do it?
I’ve written a list of 5 things we should avoid in order to grow flowers in this season. Things I, or people close to me have struggled with. Things harmful to innocence, class, and a relationship with the Father.
Though this post is about singleness, remember that purity is a constant battle–regardless of relationship status.
We must actively avoid these things…
When seeking virtue, avoid…
1) Sensual novels, music, and movies.
How can we be filled with Christ if we indulge in immoral entertainment or pollute our minds with provocative song lyrics? Avoid things that bring longing for intimacy that can’t yet be met.
Flesh-satisfying pleasures are fleeting, unworthy of attention.
“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Colossians 3:5, ESV).
*also see Romans 12:1-2
2) Questionable situations with the opposite sex.
“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you not stir up or awaken love *until it pleases” (Song of Solomon 8:4, NKJV).
*until it is time
3) Unequal yoke.
Sometimes we grab the person closest to us out of desperation. Or because that person is too amazing to resist.
But God forbade unequal yoke for a reason. He knows bonding with an unbeliever is playing with fire, and it only ends up in third-degree burns.
I know it’s easy to be lured by charm and appearance. But don’t let the enemy lure you. Don’t burn yourself by starting a relationship that can’t rightly end in marriage.
If Jesus isn’t top-priority in your prospect’s life, chances are He’ll lose priority in yours.
“Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness” (2 Corinthians 6:14, ESV)?
“Can two walk together, unless they are agreed” (Amos 3:3, NKJV)?
When seeking respect, avoid…
4) Preoccupation with self.
Ohhhh, this is dangerous. Anytime self thoughts consume us (whether good or bad), we plant rotten seeds. Self-consumption reaps selfishness, friendlessness, and a strained relationship with Christ.
“Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth” (Colossians 3:2, ESV).
5) Chasing attention.
This isn’t an easy one!
When it comes to guys I’m attracted to, I have to work extra hard to restrain uninvited flirtation or step back and let him lead.
Resisting the urge to chase can be painful–especially when it seems like the person you like will never notice you.
But, I’ve been told by some pretty classy and respectable guys that girls who chase are the most unattractive kind.
The right person will notice you in the right time, for the right reasons. You don’t have to bolt after attention.
Whether it be through clothing (or lack thereof), flirtation, or just self-centered talk, you can’t buy gold with dirt-cheap currency. In order to get a prince, you gotta be a princess (or vise versa).
“But let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious” (1 Peter 3:4, ESV).
Now that I’ve thrown a soggy blanket on our coffee date, let’s grab a refill and talk alternatives. Or rather, the Alternative to this negative list.
And that is Jesus.
The One who created the single season. The One who created the beautiful desire for marriage. The One who makes all things beautiful, when the time is right.
The One we must embrace if we hope to survive this fragile season.
Now that we’re sipping our refills, let’s chat in the comments!
Some questions for you:
→ How can we embrace Jesus during the single season? How can we be filled with Him?
→ What are some other alternatives to dealing with the single season? Some positive ways to resist temptation?